Moonless Night

Feeling kinda emo and down now... Didn't get much sleep last night... Well bloggie, problems emerge again, feel so sad last night, left him at home and I just drove out, driving without any directions to go, just rounding and rounding from gardens to gardens. Feeling lonely through the whole night while driving. Accompanying me besides the street lights, the stars above me, and my own shadow there's no one else there beside me already, ah and almost forgot about you my old old friend - loneliness. Thank you for being by my side...

Been thinking a lot... I guess not only a lot... Too many to count... Too tired to count... Is it u who picked the wrong guy as your boyfriend? Or is it the time for all this to come to an end and put a full stop on this matter... You must been wondering where have I been during that time... Let me tell you where was I... I was driving in circle and circle, with no directions, with no guides, with no where to go... Driving blindly...

My heart suddenly came up and gave me some directions, so... I follow my instincts... As I drive and I finally stopped, I reached somewhere high where I can see the view of whole Wangsa Permai... I turned off the engine, stepped out of the car... It wasn't dark at all, street lights and the star above are accompanying me, there am I, standing all alone with no one beside me to talk with, at the edge of this little hill, carefully standing there with an empty mind, blanked, totally nothing in it... As I stare above me, I can see the crystal clear dark skies with little blinking dots sticking on it, but the big round yellow friend was no where to be found. Though I could have a mate to chat with last night, but it's ok, since my yellow round friend is away for the night skies, I still have my little star friends accompanying me... My mind cannot be kept blanked for long, soon all this painful memories, all this awful feelings emerges through my mind, pain is penetrating through my heart bit by bit... Staring for at least 13 minutes it's so hard to control my emotion, my tears began to flow... It's the first time that I just leave the house with out any message or telling anyone, I don't fear the night dark that surrounds me, I fear only of losing you...

IT hurts, been thinking that what you've told me just now before I decide to go out for a drive to calm down and avoid another world war... I sneaked out quietly without letting you know that I was going out, but you did manage to find out that I was gone... It was late, the time was 12.15 a.m as I remembered... I really want to thank you my dear... Thank you for coming all the way from Taiping to stay with me, in the name of love... Thank you for making that decision and that courage for you to leave your family and come way down to KL, because of in the name of love... But it seems I cannot make you smile anymore, your smile is dying inside of you... Tears are always seen nowadays... What more to say... We barely have the chance to talk already since you've been busy lately...

I can't write any further for now... There's so many things in my mind now... I'm too tired to continue writing...

I Still Love You Like I've Always Do...

A Moon Light Person

First of all, hello bloggie... I'm back again...

Hey bloggie, I've been wondering all life long about what is my inner self, how does he look like or how does he sound like. The real me inside me... Weird eh...? As today I've found an answer but I didn't totally agreed with the answer but I do found some same pattens that matches my character.

A Moon Light Person :
You hide you emotion sometimes. You are a moon type person. You tend to be in quiet type or in contrast, you are not happy but sometimes you can act it out in order for you to not burden your friends with your problems. You've faced some problems in your life. Your heart has been dealt blows before. You tend to think about things a lot more than other people, and you may get annoyed with people who act out without thinking about consequences. You are also the type of person that others often come to with their problems because you've been through plenty, and you are very understanding. Though you sometimes feel lonely, your demeanor is usually chill, and relaxed. You usually are logical, and rely a lot on facts and information on decisions. You often keep things to yourself. This is just one side of you, and you have different faces in different situations and environments, just like the moon has phases.

Look at that bloggie... Most of it is true... But some I deny it because I don't feel it myself but maybe others do... About hiding my emotion is not only sometimes, it's most of the time and also about hiding my unhappy face is also not sometimes, it's always. I always wear a mask to hide my own emotions, I don't know why I do that, but I remembered that I told many people not to wear a mask and live on. But I am the one who is wearing it all long. Cool eh, no one can see through what am I thinking. Well in a way it's good also bloggie, so that it makes mysterious in a way that no one knows what is my emotion now and then. Whether I am happy or sad, it really doesn't matter... Hmmm what next, oh yes... The Problems in Life, yeap, life sucks when problems occurs, but life is meaningless and boring if there is no problem to solve. Skip Skip Skip... Ah, look look... It says I am an understanding person, I deny it, because if I were to be an understanding person I wouldn't have create what trouble in the past... Yeah, I've been through plenty of suck "shits", it's called life you know? At last, I have many faces, It's also my ultimate weapon in my personality, because I can make secrets become un-told, I can make secret remain as secrets, I will take it to my Grave...


Some secrets are better to remain as secrets...
Some truth are better to remain as secrets...
Some things are better to remain as secrets...