PES... Dear, this... will be the last and final time I can call you dear... Today, you told me this;
"Let's break up shall we? It's already been a month, I've seen that our relationship has already failed to gain hope, it can't be saved..."
"Honestly to say... From the day I went out my self, I've already wanted to say this to you already... But I still can't get this word out of my mouth... Reason is not because of what you think... Is just because If I would to break with you, I'll lose everything already, My place to stay, my meals all will be a new trouble... That's why I didn't mention it to you... I've decided to give us another chance... But till today... I still can't see that there any chance of saving this relationship... I don't want to be so selfish, because you treat me good and I'll have to rely on you and to bluff my self that there's still hope in us... Watching you sacrificing everything, tired just to satisfied me... I hate my self... That's why, I decide to end this relationship... This way everyone feels better... Even though when the time you hugged me, I can't feel any feelings from you already, how can I still convince myself that we still have hope?... In September I'll move to the hostel... But for Xiao Xin, I hope I can bring "Him" along with me... But if you all insist of wanting him, then I'll just leave him behind, it's the least I can do to reply you all... Things that I owe you, I will slowly repay you in the future... Sorry, I really have to end this relationship, It's just like the movie you like to watch and the movie I don't like to watch, I don't want to bluff myself that I can accept this... Sorry..."
Dear, even though my heart have an endless things to tell you...
But it seems that... I don't have this chance already...
So long you have already been planning all this...
Xiao Xin is already yours, you're his master already...
You must take care of him nicely o...
I don't regret of sacrificing so much for you...
I don't regret of loving you...
I really thank you that you gave me so many chances...
I really thank you that you taught me somethings...
In my heart, I'll be missing you...
Dear, do you know?
I've tried to un-do to save this relationship...
But you still won't change you mind...
And I'll respect your decision...
Dear...
Dear...
Dear...
You asked me, " Will I hate you?"
I didn't reply you...
Your heart has the answer...
I dare to say it here... I DON'T HATE YOU...
Because, Loving someone with all your heart, you will scarifies for him...
It's been half a year, not short nor long...
It's been my pleasure to have you in my life...
Dear... in here... This would be the last and final time calling you dear...
If we meet, I'll be calling you Small White...
Just like the day we first met...
I call you small white...
You just call me "woi~~~"...
The things that you owe me, you don't need to repay me...
I don't owe you anything right?...
If do, please kindly remind me to return it to you...
Haiz... It's so pain...
I... I'm crying...
Even though I've already predicted this to happen...
I've used all my power to pull my self back up and to accept this ending...
Haiz...
I'm not afraid to be single...
I'm not afraid to be lonely...
I'm not afraid to lose sex with you...
I'm afraid of letting my love towards you go...
It's so hard to let go...
Let go of your love one...
So Sorry...
I only bring pain and un-wanted happiness to you...
Dear...
I hope you did not regret of being together with me...
Dear...
Dear...
Haiz...
Really don't feel like ending this blog....
Because... Once I finished writing...
I'll have to call you Small White already...
Haiz...
But...
Fate decided this to happen...
I cannot stop or force it not to...
I thank you very much...
Good Bye my dear... I still love you...
Good Bye... PES...
